Transformers 3: It's all About the Action Rather Than the Acting

Have you ever imagined what it would be like if a group of crazed robots who happen to have the ability to transform into some dreamy cars wanted to take over the planet with the help of the bloke from E.R? Well with Transformers 3, you no longer have to imagine, because you can watch the visual feast of fast cars, massive guns, dangerous explosions and a stunning damsel in constant distress unraveling in front of your eyes.

With epic special effects, an unrivaled pile of slow motion sequences of cars transforming into outrageous robots, buildings collapsing, conspiracy theories, and loads of office papers blowing around everywhere, it is the perfect example of an over the top action film. You've got the bad guys and the good guys, and although your not always completely sure who is who, the mammoth visual feast is one that if your eyes were eating everything you see, your head would have exploded by the end of the viewing.

It was very easy to get lost in all of the action however, and believe me, there was a lot of it. Action isn't a bad thing in films like this one, in fact, seeing as it's an action film, action is required, but this was quite excessive, and the balance between that and the story line was not fantastic.

For me, there was confusion about who was fighting who, and for what reason, which only really became clear towards the end of the film, and as a result, there isn't enough time to appreciate what is supposed to be the most important aspect of the film; the storyline. However, it was the constant barrage of conflict in the destruction of Chicago, which the makers of the film clearly made the priority over the quality of the acting, dialogue and storyline.

Shia LaBeouf was once again the alternative action man - playing a constantly furious guy who often violently screams for no apparent reason, and although being a deceptively clever young man, still comes across for a lot of the film as a bumbling idiot.

LaBeouf played the part alongside his new woman, the beautiful Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. What she lacks in acting skills is attempted to be made up for in her stunning attractiveness. The director Michael Bay made the most of the beauty by using every possible moment that she was on screen to highlight her sex appeal, with us being introduced to her from behind, where the camera crawls seductively up her bare legs and onto her backside as she struts towards LaBeouf in bed.

After hearing about how awful she was from other unfavorable reviews, I went into the cinema with extremely low expectations, and in truth, I was slightly impressed. She wasn't great, nor was she good - the acting was pretty poor and at times rather cringe-worthy, but in comparison to those around her, she didn't stand out as the worst.

She screamed when she needed to, she put her scared or shocked face on when a robot arm was coming at her, and she successfully plastered her seductive pout face on in every other scene when there wasn't danger present (which wasn't many). Considering the film was, as mentioned more about the action than the acting, she didn't do catastrophically (though she shouldn't be expecting too many phone calls from top fim directors eager to feature her in another lead role).

In truth, the two main characters could have easily just let the army and the good robots deal with the bad guys and instead of putting their life in danger for no reason, stayed at home. I suggest, instead of putting yourself in danger of an over the top, all-action-no-acting film with only the epic scale of special effects carrying it, you do the same, and stay at home.

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US X Factor New Promo Video: Critical View

 

I had to watch this video a couple of times before what I saw actually sank in. The US X Factor promotional video is, for want of a better word, astonishing. Or, you could call it rather unbelievable. It may be that Simon Cowell is wearing pink rather than his usual white/grey loose t-shirt which rather sums up his trademark personality - harsh and blunt. Or perhaps it is the fact that Cowell is acting. Yes, acting. Badly. Yes, that's it, that's why the first minute and 23 seconds are so American and so corny that you could easily compare it to your childhood viewing of the classic, cringe-inducing Power Rangers.

In the video, we are placed into the surreal world of Simon Cowell's mind, or more specifically, in one of his nightmares. The whole layout of the opening tells the educated and irony aware audience (i.e: not stupid), that this audition isn't a real one, but actually a figment of Cowell's imagination, in which a young girl who cannot sing, walks into the audition room and produces a clap and compliment from all of the judges.

We can thank God that Paula Abdul didn't pursue an acting career, as her opening line of "Hi, what's your name sweetheart?" is so wooden and rehearsed, it's almost eye-watering. Cowell then delivers his lines, which he clearly reads through gritted teeth, as we all know how much he hates being nice. I actually feel sorry for Cowell here, as he reads a script telling people how he has "changed" and cares for the people he auditions. I can guarantee you, that some people who watched the video at this point still believed that everything he says is real, and the upcoming auditions were not staged.

It is of course made to make us laugh - and it does. Seeing Simon squirm with a clear uncomfortable attitude towards acting rather than just doing his job and judging real contestants is hilarious, and it gets even better when he pretends to break out of the nightmare and proceeds in talking to himself in the way only people in Hollywood films do.

"Wow! What a horrible nightmare," he says in an exasperated tone followed by an awkward freeze frame that just adds brilliantly to the terribly hilarity of the sketch. We are then finally shown some actual footage from the auditions, which in truth does look quite exciting, with tantrums and typical Cowell insults to everyone, highlighting his hate for all human life. No sign of Cheryl Cole unfortunately.

What an acting debut from Mr Cowell though eh? It had everything - words... erm. Yeah, words, and bad acting, really, really bad acting - on par in fact with this atrocious piece of advertisement. The similarity? Both very entertaining, and at Cowell's expense. In fact, it has done it's job well - I will now watch the US X Factor if I can, only because I'll be on the look out for more diabolical, godawful sketches like this one.

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The Hacking Scandal: Ed Miliband's Face

Critic 7 must say, what a brilliant time it is to start a blog that addresses and scrutinizes current events and the surrounding debates and arguments. Critic 7 will be looking over these events with an eager eye, bringing you the sometimes harsh, grim and jagged truth about current issues and events, starting with this astonishing phone hacking scandal.

I mean, just look at the nasally challenged Ed Miliband's little puppy face in the House of Commons today. He was clearly flabbergasted by David Cameron and his explanation of the information given to him about the possibly morally absent Andy Coulson who may or may  not have inexplicably lied through his teeth to just about everyone who asked him whether he knew anything of any phone hacking.

The information given to him was, according to the Prime Minister, not actually given to him at all, but he did say that if the former News of the World Editor has lied, then he should jolly well be prosecuted (he didn't actually say the "jolly well" bit, but The Critic 7 can imagine it's something he regularly mutters to himself in times of frustration).

Mr Cameron also interestingly said he would work "doubly hard" to get to the bottom of the issue. "Doubly hard"? How about you work "triply" hard or "quadruply" hard to get to the bottom of it? Hey, why don't you skip all of the adverbs and just get straight to the bottom of it like a proper little detective like Poirot or someone?

Getting back to Mr Miliband's jaw dropped face, which probably resembles the metaphorical face of everyone in the nation when they hear that the News of The World hacked another innocent person who happens to be in the public eye because they have been a victim of an atrocious and amoral crime.

In fact, The Critic 7 would bet that if our metaphorical mouths on or metaphorical faces were to continue to drop each time we hear of another scandal inside this broad one of hacking, by the end of it all, our jaws will be broken and in a lot of pain - much like the victims of the hackers.

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